The Icha Icha Incident
by Cassandra Incognito
Summary: Naruto. A teenager. The third. A warlock. Sasuke. A pirate. The Icha Icha Incident... well, you'll just have to find out won't you. Lemons expected
1. Of Pirates and Ghosts

Disclaimer: Neither of the authors own the story, no matter how much we should like to.

Warning: This shall be campy, MAGIC-al, a little weird [but what isn't?, and hopefully will have ton's of smutty goodness.

AUTHORS: Sara (God), and CassandraIncognito (C-Chan)

Cassie: Yay! My first co-authored story.

Conscience: I can't wait to see the co-lemon scenes, with two yaoi fan girls it's bound to be something.

Cassie: And Sara is almost as perverted as me. –nods-

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**Icha****Icha**** Incident****: Chapter 1**

**Of Pirates and Ghosts **

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"Freak!" A voice called out.

"God, he' such a loser."

"Idiot."

"Why don't you go home and cry to your _daddies_."

"I bet he's a faggot just like them, sucks cock and takes it up the corn hole."

One boy stood out from the group and taunted the teen, "Hey Naruto. I've got something for you," The teen said, unzipping his pants, and shaking his hips teasingly.

Naruto cringed, and looked down, clenching his fists tightly. He would like nothing more than to smash the kid's face into the nearest wall, but with his fighting record what it was there was a good chance he could be expelled this time. He didn't want to put that extra pressure on Iruka and Kakashi, they were already dealing with so much stress, and he didn't want to be a further burden.

Pushing past the group he ignored the knocks to his shoulder and the occasional pinch or smack on the behind. He finally worked his way past the crowd of people, cursing under his breath as he quickly made his way along the halls and long corridors of Konoha High. The noise dimmed down as Naruto put distance between himself and the gaggle of student's, finding his way into the quieter deserted halls. He heard the group following, making a split second decision the teen decided to take refugee, ducking into a large set of doors, and breathing a sigh of relief as the group walked right past.

Turning around the teen looked appraisingly at his surroundings. The school Library. Like a second home for the teen, although Naruto wasn't much of a reader, neither was the rest of the student body, the library was always completely deserted, and was a perfect hideout.

The librarian emerged from behind a stack of books upon hearing the blond enter. "Hey Naruto, the kids at it again?" He asked, his eyes gently appraising the huffing teen.

"Yeah," Naruto muttered, making his way to an empty table and sitting down, placing his feet on the tops of the table.

After grumbling to himself for a little while longer he sighed softly and looked around, _'Might as well take a look around since I've got nothing better to do.'_ He rarely looked around at all the books available so it would be a nice change of scene to walk around. He dragged his feet down from their perch and heard a soft clearing of the throat from the man at the front desk. Turning he smiled sheepishly and waved.

"Sorry Sarutobi-sensei." The elder man chuckled softly and nodded.

Shuffling his feet as he walked the blond's eyes roamed from one end of the library to the other before settling on the shelves closets to where he was. Walking in between two towering book shelves Naruto felt like they would collapse at any second and kept crouching down and holding his arms over his head to protect himself from the non-existent falling objects. He narrowed his eyes and glared at all the books before crossing his arms over his chest and continued forward.

"Find anything interesting?" The voice came from in front of him, Naruto lifted his gaze and smiled broadly.

"Nothing yet, old man. It all looks so boring." He rolled his eyes and huffed at the end of his sentence to make his point. Sarutobi's face crinkled into a smile as he pulled a small orange book from under his sleeve.

"I highly recommend this."

Naruto took the book in hand, and looked it over, "Icha Icha Incident?"

Sarutobi nodded and gave a smile, the corner of his eyes crinkling and his eyes glimmering in mirth. "It's a wonderful read, it just pulls you right into the story."

Naruto raised an eyebrow, but shrugged, there was nothing better to do, and who was he to question the almighty Sarutobi-sensei. The man was a regular know it all, Naruto was almost convinced the man had some sort of magic ball to know what was happening in the school, he almost always knew when Naruto was in trouble and what was going on.

The teen made his way over to a large set of plush chairs hidden in the corner of the library, sitting back and getting comfortable for what he knew was going to be a long wait. The bastards that chased him may be stupid, but they sure as hell were persistent.

Opening the cover the teen began to peruse the content's...

_The dark waves of the ocean loomed over head, the dark raven calmly turning the boat to avoid the treacherous rocks of the island of the damned, the storm skies' held__ for the moment, dark and swirling as lighting brightened the sky with a flash, Illuminating the pale visage of the captain_

_"Captain, the waves are too strong, we should turn back and wait out the storm!" The first mate called, hanging onto the mast for dear life._

_The captain merely sent a glare to the first mate, who nodded his head in acceptance, "Onward men, keep __yourselves__ together and we'll pull through alive. Let's put our confidence in the captain."_

_"Aye, Aye!"__ The crew __shou__ted,__ f__rantically loosening sails..._

Sarutobi watched the teen's face light up in delight, as he pressed his face farther and farther into the book, a small smile and grin of excitement crawling onto the teen's lips.

"Yes... I do believe that this shall do quite nicely." He man mumbled, before rubbing his finger's together, as a set of blue sparks emanated from the tips, muttering words underneath his breath he guided the sparks towards the engrossed teen.

Naruto felt a light tingle wash over his form, ignoring it he turned back to the pages...

_The crew travelled through the deep forest, leaves brushing against their bodies' as the front of the group hacked away, while the captain perused the map. _

_"We're almost there men, hold your shovels steady." _

_Exiting the forest the group came across the designated area, where a __small area of cleared forest lay. "Alright men, get digging." The first mate bellowed, as the other's set to work. _

Naruto felt a slight tug on his form. He attempted to shake it off, but he felt it again, before he knew it he was pulled headfirst, into the words before him, hearing a quiet "good luck" before everything went black.

Groaning softly Naruto rolled over while draping his arm over his eyes to block out the glaring sun as some birds screeched from somewhere nearby. _'Birds?_' he thought groggily to himself.

Slowly he pulled the arm down, letting it slid over his nose before coming down and pressing down into the sand below him, _'...Sand?..._' his eyes exploded open and he burst forward to a sitting position. At first he winched as the harsh sunlight pounded against his eyes.

Just as suddenly as it had come the sunlight disappeared. He cracked his eyes open and saw two legs standing in front of him. His head slowly fell back as his eyes traveled upwards. Before him stood a man with wild looking brunette hair, tattered clothing and thin looking leather shoes adorned the man and a large white bird stayed perched on his shoulders. Naruto blinks as his mouth falls open.

The man looming over him suddenly stiffens, the bird on his shoulder starts flapping about wildly as the man quickly lurches back and his limbs start flailing, "GHOST!" wails the brunette as he gets farther away. "Mother of God its a ghost!"

In a flash Naruto was off the ground, all thoughts of figuring out what was going on lost as he whipped around and faced the same direction of the man and jumped back till he was beside the other, "WHERE?!" his head snapped to the brunette, both their eyes wide and panicked.

The brunettes arm shot up and pointed at Naruto, "YOU!" Naruto froze and turned completely to face the brunette.

"Me?! The Ghost is inside ME! Get it out! Get it out!" The blonde began to flail wildly as if performing an exorcism tribal dance.

"No you git! You're the ghost."

Naruto stopped failing and turned back to the brunette. "You're kidding, right? I'M NOT A GHOST!" Naruto's cheeks started to burn red with rage.

"Look at how yer clothed! Not one person I know be dressing like that! And just appearing here in the middle of an island like that ain't the work of nothing human! Ghost is the only explanation!" The brunette rooted his feet and stood his ground as he glared.

"Look at how I'm dressed?! Look at yourself! What the hell are you going for?" He paused and looked around, "Island...? I'm on an island?..."

Before the brunette could respond a voice sounded from off in the direction Naruto had previously been, "What seems to be the problem, First mate Kiba?" Naruto's head snapped in the direction of the voice and just as quickly his heart stopped in his chest. A man with short raven hair, kinda shaped like a ducks butt in the back, with haunting black eyes, and finely shaped thin pink lips stared at them with a delicately raised brow.

"Ghost, sir!" the man now known as Kiba shouted, still glaring at Naruto.

Turning away from the enigmatic and compelling creature the teen turned back to the brunette. "I am not a Ghost! I'm a real boy! And where the hell am I?"

The raven's calculating eyes took in the appearance of the teen, "First mate, Kiba, answer the young man."

"Aye, aye sir. Yer on the Island of the Damned. Ain't no one been living here for ages, so you'd have to be a ghost. Ain't no one heard of the Island, not except the lost souls, tales be that a large family once dwelled here, before they was all killed one night in their sleep." Kiba said in a low voice.

Naruto gulped, his eyes wide, "H-how did they die?" He stuttered.

"Well, the tale is that they was butchered, gut's ripped out and their blood be painting the walls, nothing left but pieces for the birds."

Naruto mouth hung open in mock horror, and shock, while his stomach madly rolled around, he was half tempted to let go of his cafeteria food, but held it in. Having the lunch go in was bad enough, he didn't want to have to taste it a second time.

"Well Kiba, we best be heading off."

"Aye, Aye Captain Uchiha." Kiba said.

"Wait! You can't just leave me here!" Naruto said trembling, there was no way in hell he wanted to stay on a haunted island all alone.

"We won't be taking no ghost along with us. Bring's bad luck on the boat, it does." Kiba said with a nod.

"But I'm not a ghost!" The teen cried, beseeching the pair.

"Ghost brawack He's a Ghost." The parrot chirped.

Naruto sent eyes daggers towards the bird. Meanwhile The captain stood appraising the teen, "Well there is one way to determine if you're real or not."

Naruto looked towards the captain with his eyes hopeful, before the man took a step forward, and another, until he was right in front of the teen, Naruto made a move to go back but he was too slow, before he could even think a pair of chapped lips met his own as a hand quickly grabbed his arm. The lips were harsh and demanding, and sent sparks down the teen's back. His mouth felt like it was on fire, and his knee's were slowly turning into mush. Finally the raven pulled away.

"He's real alright." He said before turning around, and starting to walk off.

Naruto stood completely stunned and wide eyed, the first mate also began to walk off, before turning around, "So ye coming or not, Ghost?"

Naruto shook off his stupor and blinked before shaking his head and following, "I'm coming! I'm coming!" The teen followed silently for a moment before frowning, "Hey! I'm not a Ghost!"

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Conscience: Well that was fun.

Cassie: Sure was! -Gai thumbs up complete with sunset and waves-


	2. Of Chips and Ropes

Conscience: So I heard there's some bondage in this one?

Me: From who?!

Conscience: God –Inside Joke-

Me: ... You'll see.

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**The ****Icha****Icha**** Incident: Chapter 2**

**Of Chips and Ropes **

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Walking onto the ship the sound of wood creaking filled the air as waves lapped up against the sides of the ship. A strong breeze swept around the ship and blew up Naruto's moppy mane, a small smile tugged up the edge of his lips as his eyes slid shut until...the smell hit him. His face contorted into a look of pure disgust as his body physically flinched back.

"Whoa! What the hell!" He looked to the direction the wind was blowing from and saw a group of pirates. "Don't any of you know what _soap_ is?! Jesus Christ...I'm all for only bathing when you have to but this is just...NASTY!"

He pinched his fingers over the bottom of his nose and looked over to the first mate with disbelieving questioning eyes. The man just laughed and shook his head and walked away. Suddenly a voice came from over top, the captain looked straight ahead, "First mate Kiba, find this boy something useful to do." Said man nodded and sighed to himself while rounding back to Naruto.

"What chu good fer, Ghost?" Kiba asked with a soft smile as his bird leaned forward then squawked. Naruto glared at the man for the use of the name ghost but instead of saying something simply shrugged his shoulder.

"I can do stuff...What do you want me to do?"

"Ye any good at cook'n? We can always use another free hand in the galley. Now git yer ass down there and start cook'n." Kiba said with a smack on said behind.

Naruto attempting to avoid further nasal and physical abuse scurried off to the stairs leading to the bunks and kitchen. He had to admit he wasn't the best at cooking... ok that's a slight understatement, but he had at least learned how to make a mean pre-packaged ramen. So long as he didn't burn the water. Turning a corner Naruto came to a large dining room, with a bolted down wooden table and many chairs, apparently also bolted down. 'Guess they have a lot of storm's.' The teen thought to himself as he heard the distinct clash of pots and pans.

Peeping into the room where the sound came from Naruto happened across a large man with spiky brown hair seemed to be rumbling around in the kitchen. 'I wonder if he's related to Kiba,' he thought to himself.

"Hello!" He said, startling the man who was bent over into the oven, causing him to smash his head into the top of the stove, and fall backwards groaning, a potato falling out of his hand.

"Who are you and what do you think you're doing here?!" The fallen man asked.

Naruto looked over his figure appraisingly. There was no doubt in the teen's mind that this was the cook, the very large figure, the apron with the swirl's, same as the one's tattooed on his cheeks. "Umm. I'm the new guy, Kiba told me that I should come down and give you a hand in the kitchen."

"Ahh, so you're Ghost. Well let's get to work, think you can peal these potatoes?"

Sighing at the nickname that seemed to have stuck the teen nodded and took a potato in hand, and a knife into the other. Chouji went back into the preparation area before he heard a yelp, and looked over to see the teen's sheepishly sucking his thumb. The brunette shook his head and walked over, taking the potato from the teen and sent him to work gutting fish for the day's dinner. All went well for the first few minutes before the teen fled, to the nearest bucket. Apparently the day's catch had just eaten, and when cut open... well... you can get the idea. Moving Naruto to yet another station he was put in charge of watching to make sure nothing burned. A minute later a rather X-tra crispy fish made it out of the oven.

"Are you actually this completely useless?!" Chouji asked a grimacing Naruto, "I've seen children cookin' better then ye be boy!"

"I'm sorry. I've never been that good at cooking..." Naruto trailed off.

"And look what ye'v done to the potato's they are far too thin, no one is going to be able to pick that up with a fork, and I can't even fry them in a pan!" Chouji said completely exasperated with the teen.

"Do you have any salt?" Naruto asked.

"What?"

"Do you have any salt?" Naruto asked again.

Chouji gifted him with a guttural laugh, the rumbling filling the room, "We sure do, an entire ocean of it, but if ye be needing it for cookin' then here be the place to get it." The brunette said, grabbing a small bag from a cupboard.

"Ok... do you have any butter?"

Frowning for a moment the cook shook his head, "It doesn't keep, we have no way of keeping it cold."

"Hmmm... ok... how about some oil?"

Chouji nodded and plodded off towards another pantry, pulling out a large tub of some sort of oil, Naruto hoped to god it was food based. "That'll work."

"Just what are ye thinking boy?"

"It's a recipe I know. I can't do it for the life of me, but I at least know it. And this way you won't waste the potatoes. Ok, so you cut the potatoes into small slices, very thin, which we already have. Then we dry them, place them on a piece of metal, lightly coat in oil, and bake until they are golden brown, then you put the salt on them."

The cook looked Naruto up and down with narrowed eyes before sighing and decided why the hell not. A few minutes passed as Naruto stood off to the side of the stove while the cook did exactly as he had told him. When the tray was removed Chouji's eyes searched all over the tray, a heavenly scent filling his nostrils, his eyes flickered over to the smirking Naruto before the tray smacked down on the counter.

Sprinkling a fair amount of salt on the chips Chouji picked one up with plump fingers and slowly brought it to his mouth. He eyed Naruto one last time, Naruto cheered him on with a bright smile and nodded. The chip snapped between the cook's teeth and slowly the man chewed, a second past and the rest of the chip went into his mouth. Before Naruto could rejoice in the fact that the cook liked it said man brought him into a bone crushing bear hug and laughed loudly.

"Tastes like the food of the Gods themselves!" Chouji merrily announced before running back to the tray and loading them all into a bag. He grabbed Naruto by the arm and started for the door. The round man bellowed Kiba's name as he exited the first hall. He wobbled up the stairs until he was out in the fresh slightly fish smelling air, Naruto still being yanked after him. Kiba walked over with a confused expression.

"What is it? Did the boy burn down the galley or something?" Kiba asked with a slight bit of amusement dancing around in his eyes. Chouji shook his head vigoursly and produced the bag of chips, he held it out to Kiba and nodded telling him to take one. Kiba did the same little suspicious stare down the chief had done previously before taking one whole chip into his mouth. The first mates eyes shout alive with shock. "Not bad, Chouji!"

Chouji shook his head and smacked Naruto on the back sending the blond stumbling forward. "It were Ghost who made'em!"

"Oh so the boy can cook then, eh?" Kiba asked with an approving face. Chouji's face dropped to a blank expression as he popped another chip in his mouth and smacked away Kiba's asking hand.

"Don't let that boy in me galley again or I'll cut off 'is hands." With that Chouji smiled down at Naruto and walked off with his bag of chips. Kiba sagged forward.

"Troublesome." Came the reply from behind them. Naruto looked over his shoulders and say a man with his hair pulled back in a high ponytail laying along on the guard rails with his arms folded behind his head.

Kiba smiled at the man, going over to pat him on the back, "Shika, my dearest and old, best of friends. How goes it? Admiring the cloud's again I see."

"What do you want Kiba? I'm not nearly as stupid as the rest of the hooligans under Uchiha's employment, and I know that tone." He said, his eye's glancing over to look at Naruto, who was currently still sucking his semi-bleeding thumb.

Kiba gave the man a large grin before snatching the blond from his position and shoving him before Shika, "Find something for the brat to do, that's all, bye." Kiba said taking off at such a pace that his bird was forced to fly after him.

"Kiba! I never agreed-" It was too late, the brunette was gone and Naruto stood staring up at Shikamaru with his big blue eyes that it was almost impossible for the man to resist. "Troublesome. HEY LEE!" He shouted towards the mast.

A head popped out of the crow's nest, before a form bounded down the ropes at a breakneck pace to land before the pair, Naruto's eyes wide in both, shock, fear, amazement, and admiration.

"You called my youthful friend?" The bushy eyed man asked, his atrocious attire composed of a green head band keeping his long black hair out of his face, skin tight green pants and a long green over shirt. It was exactly the same color Naruto turned when he was first on the ship. He felt his stomach lurch in recognition.

"Ghost here need's a job."

"So you want me to teach him the ropes of, well, the ropes?"

"Yes." Shikamaru replied, turning and walking away.

Lee nodded and a giant smile crossed his lips, before he latched onto Naruto arm and hoisted him over his shoulder and bounded over to the ropes at the side of the deck, throwing Naruto against them and telling him to climb, while he himself was already nearly at the top in a flash. Naruto lay against the ropes clinging for dear life, his eyes wide as he stared at the blue expanse below him. 'Oh lord. I'm going to die a virgin, and that bastard captain stole my first kiss. Wait...' "THAT BASTARD STOLE MY FIRST KISS!"

Sasuke within his cabin recognized the blond "Ghost's" voice, and smirked to himself. 'Hmmm. I'm his first kiss then. I wonder how many other firsts I can get.' The man had to cover his nose as a healthy amount of blood began to flow from the orifice.

Lee smiled at his companion's exuberance and carefully pried the teen's finger's from the rope's, helping him along to the top. Naruto felt his stomach doing a series of rolls and tumbles that most gymnasts would envy. Once situated in the crow's nest color began to flow back into the teen's face, Lee jokingly remarking that he had truly looked like a Ghost mere moment's ago, and receiving a heartfelt glare in response. Laughing heartily Lee gave a pat to the teen on the back, and gathered a set of ropes.

Lee went about teaching Naruto various forms of knot's, only to have them either fall apart or the teen entangle himself with them. Even Lee's amazing patience was beginning to wear thin when Naruto had failed to do a simple bowline. He couldn't do the eye splice, nor the reef square knot, not even a cleat hitch. No the teen was simply useless when it came to rope's. Sighing Lee came to the conclusion that he wouldn't be able to help Naruto, no matter how hard the blond attempted to do right.

"I'm sorry Mate, your youthful demeanour gives me hope, but perhaps you should try something else." Lee said, his bright eyes twinkling although he was clearly sorry for Naruto.

Nodding Naruto slowly began to make his way down the rope's, until his hand was hooked under one, realizing that he was slightly trapped, he moved his foot under another rope to try and push himself free, getting frustrated the teen' began to shimmy back and forth between different rope's only becoming more and more helpless entangled. Five minutes later found Naruto hanging near the mast, with his leg's tied almost spread eagle, and his hands trapped together above him. Dignity be damned the teen, shouted for help.

He tried to wiggle his head around to look around but a rope seemed to be latched around his throat and pulled tighter each time he moved, he sighed to himself before calling out again. Finally he heard stomping as someone neared him, he cried out in relief before the captain's face appeared before him. Something that Naruto couldn't name shone in the man's eyes as he looked Naruto up and down before smirking.

"Don't you smirk at me you bastard! Just get me out of these things!" The blond growled. Thin eyebrows lowered as the captain glared.

"Best be watching yer mouth around the Captain, Ghost, otherwise you'll be taking a short walk to the end of yer life." Kiba's now familiar voice rang out in his ears, he managed to turn his head a few centimetres and caught the man's serious gaze. Naruto growled again before sighing in defeat and looking at the raven haired man.

"Cut me down..._please_." The word came out strained, like his throat was being run through with a cheese grater. The Uchiha smirked down at him and turned, he nodded briefly to his first mate.

"Bring him to my cabin." with that the Captain was out of Naruto's sight. His eyes widened slightly at the captains announcement.

As Kiba came forward to help the teen out a voice came from over them "Naruto I thought you couldn't do knot's, yet you managed to get yourself tied up quite nicely. That's the power of youth!"

"Shut up Lee." Kiba chuckled loudly and shook his head as he finally started to help the poor teen out.

Once out of the death trap of ropes Kiba walked behind the teen as he guided him to the Captains door, before anyone knocked a cool voice flooded through the door, "Come in." Kiba reached over Naruto and opened the door, then pushed the boy forward. The blonds' head whipped around and glared at the man.

"Why is it no one seems to think I can walk for myself?!"

"Maybe because you can't seem to do anything else." Kiba replied back with a sneer as his bird took off from his shoulder and landed on a perch off to the side of the cabin.

"Come and have a sit, savvy. Unless of course you would fancy a spot on First Mate Kiba's lap so you don't mess that up as well." Sasuke smirked.

"Oh god, that was so Captain Jack Sparrow." Naruto said with a slightly horrified, shocked expression.

"Captain who? Never heard of the man." The Uchiha said with a raised brow and searching voice as if he just ran through a list of men in his mind.

"I can't believe I'm stuck on a boat full of people who probably can't even spell the word 'Cat.'" the blond groaned and smacked himself in the forehead. Captain Uchiha pushed himself out of the chair and walked around to face Naruto. He looked the teen up and down.

"I assure you I can spell the word 'Cat', and many others. Don't tell me you're an educated man?" The surprise and intrigue that lined the man's tone caused Naruto to roll his eyes.

"Of course I am!" Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and glared up at the captain. The man made a slight noise of understanding in the back of his throat before walking back over to a table just to the side of his desk. He looked back over to Naruto and nodded toward the desk signalling for Naruto to come closer.

"You are dismissed Kiba, thank you." Kiba grunted something, the flapping of wings briefly filled the room before the door slammed shut and the two were left alone. Naruto walked over to the desk cautiously and looked down at the table. The captain pointed to a paper.

"Read this then."

Naruto looked down at the finely scrolled parchment and scrunched up his eyes as he bent over. "Port of Stutsman. 50 knots North of Dead Man's Gallow. Six barrels of black power, five..." the blond trailed off and looked up to the captain as he scoffed, "I'm reading a shopping list...any moron can read a shopping list."

"Where is it that you come from, Ghost...because even in the finest of towns not all the citizens can read." Captain's face was raised in mild curiosity as Naruto's face went blank while his mind searched for words. A moment passed and when the teen didn't produce an answer the captain nodded, "Not everyone likes to remember their past...I can understand." Naruto's heart slammed in his chest, a pang of hurt coursed through his body. He had looked into the captains face when the man had said that, the man knew what he was talking about for he too was trying to forget something of his own past...something painful.

Naruto nodded as the captain took his sit behind his desk and started shuffling through papers. "You will, from now on, be helping me with important documents and the like. But at the moment there are some things I need to go through so take a sit and wait till I need you." not feeling like arguing Naruto nodded to himself and took one of the chairs in front of the desk.

About ten minutes or so had past by when Captain Uchiha slammed his fist down on the desk and looked up at Naruto, he had felt the boy's eyes on him the whole time. "What?!"

The blond smiled sheepishly, "Well I was just wondering..."

Like a twitch Sasuke's eyebrow shot up, "Yes?"

"You're a _pirate_ Captain right?"

"Of course, now get to your point." Sasuke sighed as he leaned back in his chair.

"Where is your peg leg?...Or maybe even an eye patch or something...A big bushy beard maybe?!"

Sasuke felt his left eye twitch, and a rumble of laughter filled his stomach, but he held it in, heaven forbid someone considers him weak, he could very well have a mutiny on his hands, well excepting the fact that most of his crew was too lazy to even consider creating a ruckus, and he was more than fair to his crew.

Sasuke gave the blonde an incredulously look, before narrowing his eyes and glaring. Naruto just stared right back as if challenging, before he finally looked away his eye's dimming and a small unhappy sigh escaped his lips. Upon hearing the unhappy sigh and look of complete and utter defeat cross the blonde's face Sasuke couldn't help but concede.

"Not every pirate captain has a peg leg you know. It's a sign of how great a captain you are by the state of both your crew and you're own well being. Now I wouldn't be much of a pirate if I had lost a leg now would I?"

Naruto frowned for a moment before shaking his head, "All the good pirates I know have at least one of the three, but you have no peg leg, no beard, and no eye patch."

"I guess you don't know very many good pirates then." The raven said with a smirk. "After all it shows you aren't fit for battle with the eye patch, it slows you down to have the peg leg, and a beard is a sign that you aren't wealthy enough to go to port often enough to get a good bath and shave."

Naruto merely pouted and refused to make eye contact with the raven, he was sick of the man's eye's pulling him into their depths.

"What do I have to do to show you I'm one of the best pirates out there?" Sasuke said, getting up out of his seat, before moving behind Naruto in a flash, his breath tickling the hairs on the back of the teen's neck, before whispering into the teen's ear, "Should I, plunder something? Or how about a nice pillage and rape," he said smirking beside then teen's ear as Naruto shook with both fear and anticipation as a pair of hands slid up his waist.

"W-what do you think you're doing?" Naruto sputtered, as he felt himself lifted up and out of the seat before being guided onto the captain's lap. "Hey! What the hell man!?" The teen exclaimed, squirming madly in an attempt to escape the man's grasp.

"I'm just claiming my rightful booty." The raven replied, moving to nibble gently on the struggling boy's ear. "You were on my property after all, so now I own you."

"Ah, ah, Stop that!" Naruto said with a squeak, stiffening as he felt a pair of hand's sneak under his shirt. "Gah! Get out of there!" The blonde exclaimed, trying to grab for the man's hands, "Dammit! I said MOVE THEM HANDS!"

A small cough came from the door, Naruto stopped struggling and turned to look over to see a sheepishly grinning Kiba standing in the door way.

Kiba's bird decided to break the silence that came over the room, "-Squawk- Knocking boots –Squawk-".

Naruto immediately flushed red and scrambled to escape from Sasuke's lap, finally the raven allowing the teen to go. Kiba gave the two a grin, "So ye've not been here more than a sundown and you're already riding the plank eh, Ghost?" He said giving the teen a light tap on the shoulder.

"I- We- I could never- Him, pfftt-I can't believe that-"

"It's alright mate, many a man on board would love a chance to jump on the Uchiha oar and paddle away til' the morn." Kiba said giving Naruto a gentle pat on the shoulder.

Naruto felt his left eye twitch at the visual provided, but quickly shook of the image, before removing Kiba's hand with his index and thumb, as if the man was contaminated. "Listen, I don't know what you thought you saw but there's absolutely nothing going on between Captain Uchiha and myself. Nothing at all."

"It's alright Ghost, Kiba is a very loyal crew member anything said in this room will not leave it, I assure you. Feel free to tell him." Sasuke said with a smirk and grin.

Naruto sputtered in indignation, "But there's nothing going on!"

Sasuke beckoned Kiba over and made a show of whispering to him, although his words were more than loud enough for Naruto to hear, "He's just a little shy. I was his first, so he's still a little cock shy. Just talk to him gentle like, savvy?"

Naruto could feel all the blood rushing to his cheek's, and his fist clenched tightly, his brow furrowed in anger. 'That fucking bastard. I swear, the second I see land I'm killing him then getting the hell out of here.'

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Conscience: Jump on the Uchiha Oar and paddle away til' the morn'... What the hell man?

Me: It was a moment of inspiration.

Conscience: Or insanity. And that's what you call bondage?!

Me: Generally someone tied up with their legs spread constitutes "bondage".

Conscience: -Scoffs- Well until next time.


	3. Of Informants and Information

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**The Icha Icha Incident: Chapter 2**

**Of Informants and Information**

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Naruto's bleary salt encrusted eyes slowly opened, to a giant roar coming from above, it seemed like the entire ship was bursting with energy while Naruto himself lay in his hammock. Slowly working one leg over the leg the teen was quickly spun then flipped out of the material to land on his ass with a bounce.

"Ooooo..." The teen moaned, rubbing his eyes and his ass as he slowly stretched to work out the kinks in his body.

"Never again will I complain about my bed at home," he mumbled under his breath as he slowly worked his way up the stairs to the aft.

"We'll be eye deep in the wenchs by nite', Ghost. With enough grog to sending ye' tumbling over the edge and back again." Kiba said with a strong smack on the teen's back that sent him stumbling forward.

"Huh? We're doing what now?" Naruto asked, still trying to shake off the last dredges of sleep.

"Land ho!" Lee shouted from the crow's nest.

The crew erupted in exclamations of joy, and ran off towards their jobs, intent on finishing their tasks

"Come on lad. The Captain be wanting ye' fer something." Kiba said, steering the teen towards the cabin.

Upon entering the teen was pushed into a chair, while Kiba stood nearby. Sasuke looked up from his map on the desk to motion Kiba that it was alright and he could leave. After the door closed, Sasuke stood and walked over to the teen, and putting a hand on his shoulder from behind, and moving to whisper in his ear.

"This ship has eyes and ears everywhere Ghost. Ye best keep what I say to you here to yourself, or I'll be seeing you in the Davy Jones. Sweet arse or not ye'll be walking the plank. Got me?"

"Loud and clear." Naruto said with a gulp. There was no way he wanted to become some shark's midday snack.

The raven fingered the shimmering locks of the teen, and smoothed out the strands with his fingers before placing a kiss on the locks. "Now that we've got all the unpleasantness out of the way I have a job for ye."

"Aye? I mean yes?" Naruto asked, shaking his head at the speech that had he had become accustomed to over the span of a week.

"When we reach the port of Konoha yer to follow me. You'll be taking down notes, and helping me with me orders. Ye aren't to be separated, and if ye do a good job, I'll have a small treat fer ya. Ye got me?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Good. Now follow me."

The pair headed out of the cabin to where a small launch was waiting in the water. After being lowered onto the boat they set of towards the town of Konoha, with more than half the crew in tow. The other half staying on board to guard until the other came back and switched.

Sasuke sat at the bow, looking regal despite a slight layer of grim that had built up from his time on the ship. His hair remained perfectly intact, the wind failing to displace a single strand. 'Maybe it's all the salt water' Naruto thought to himself.

"Where are we going Captain?" He asked quietly.

"We're going to meet with one of my informants, have my men gather some supplies, and perhaps let them have a little relaxation time, right men?!"

A booming 'AYE AYE CAPTAIN!' Was quickly followed by enthusiastic banter about what indulgences they would partake in. Many of the men seemed to wish to join in some carnal activities with some of the women from the local whore house, while others just wished to get blitzed out of their skulls. Naruto simply nodded his head and tuned them out. A question was plaguing him. How in the world was he going to get out of this world? He barely knew how he got inside in the first place, except that he was reading one moment then poof! In the book the next...

"THAT OLD BASTARD!" Naruto growled.

The crew seemed to shrink back from the blonde's outburst. Kiba shifted forward to place a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"What be ailing ye' Ghost?"

' I don't know how he did it... but I know he put me in here. I just have to figure out how.' Naruto pulled out of his reverie... and his plot to kill Saratobi through various painful methods. He shook his head and gave a small smile to Kiba, before replying. "I'm fine. I just remembered something about my... grandfather. Yes, about my grandfather."

Sasuke now seemed to be intrigued by the conversation. "What about your grandfather?"

"Oh nothing much. Just a memory about a time when the old windbag thought I needed more adventure in my life, although I clearly didn't, and thought that he'd do something for my benefit when it clearly serves his own fucking purposes, and that he's a crazy old bastard who thinks he's all wise and cool when really all he does is mess with people's lives, because he a horrible, horrible, cruel and evil person."

"Billions of blue blistering barnacles! How in the world did ye say that in one breath Ghost?" Kiba asked in astonishment.

"Huh? Oh... I dunno. I guess I have good lungs." Naruto replied, torn away from his rant and feeling slightly better for it.

'I'll be hearing ye using them all night long before long my little sunrise.' Sasuke thought to himself, while appreciating the windswept blonde locks swaying in the wind as the teen gazed out into the sea.

Kiba shook his head and laughed to himself before turning his head back to scan the shore while Sasuke kept his eyes locked firmly on the teen, a strange smirk gleaming in his eyes. Before long the boat hit sand and a few of the crew jumped out and pulled them the rest of the way up.

Sasuke eyed Naruto one last time before gracefully climbing out, his overcoat catching briefly on the wooden trim and having to be undone by said blonde before he could move any farther.

"Now men remember to stick to yer duties first. Ghost ye better not lose sight of me." He nodded to his first mate before turning on heel and strolling away.

The two had been marching through the bustling town for what felt like hours and Naruto had begun to drag his feet as his head whipped around to try and take in all the strange sights. When Naruto had paused before a small shop with weapon's lining the insides he felt a sharp smack to the top of his head.

With narrowed eyes Naruto's hand shot up to tenderly cradle his new found sore spot as he growled, "What the hell ya do that for?!" Sasuke sighed softly and turned, not bothering to answer the question. "Fucking prick." the blonde continued to mumble as he stomped behind his Captain.

The pair arrived at a rather rambunctious establishment. The noise from the outside was deafening, so Naruto could barely imagine what it was like inside. The building was painted a god awful red, gaudy as hell, and it appeared as if the doors had knockers... for well... knockers. Naruto walked on, expecting Sasuke to keep moving, and bumped into the back of the man as he stopped.

"Hey. What the hell man?" The teen demanded.

"We're here."

"Wait. Rewind. Stop. Play. Did you just say that 'We're here?'"

"I'm not exactly sure what ye mean by "rewind", but I assure ye we are here." Sasuke said with a smirk.

"And what the hell is here?"

"My informant."

"Wait. So you mean to say we're going in there?" The teen said pointing wildly, his eyes wide.

"That is exactly what I mean to say."

"I can't go in there!"

"I assure ye that there's nothing to worry about."

As soon as Sasuke finished his last word the doors flew open and a bloody, and completely intoxicated man landed at their feet, and was soon followed by a series of empty and half-empty bottles, which smashed on the pavement and on the man himself.

"Top o' the morn to ye there laddie. Ye sssuure arre a ssexxyy one ain't cha... bet yer a tease jus' like the other wenches." The man slurred, his hand travelling up Naruto's ankle.

Naruto pointedly looked at Sasuke, before the raven kicked the man off and allowed him to fall into the arms of Morpheus, or perhaps the arms of the god of intoxicated coma's, if one existed.

"I rest my case." The blonde said, crossing his arms in a final move.

"If ye don't follow me now, I'll leave ye to the tavern to do with ye what they want. Got me?"

Naruto paled and quickly raised his hand to his forehead in a salute. "Aye aye Captain!" He said following behind.

Upon entering Naruto noticed one of two things. One. This wasn't just a tavern. Oh no. It was also a whore house. The second, that apparently the women had a fondness for blondes. Naruto was stock pale as he walked by women in the... establishment. Various cat calls were heard, followed by the occasional smack on the behind.

"Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!"

"That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!"

"I'll make you jolly, roger."

Sasuke held his arms as he led him through clouds of perfume and lipstick, the teen finally emerging covered in red marks from kisses, and looking disorientated, and ruffled.

"Did I just get laid?" He asked.

Sasuke shook his head as he practically dragged the teen up the stairs, leaving the women to coo in disappointment. The pair came to a locked door. Sasuke let out a series of knocks, two quick, one slow, one hard, three soft, pause, three hard and quick, followed by a "Open the damn door ye damn pervert!"

Naruto heard a grumbling and then a series of locks opening. Sasuke kicked the door open, knocking whoever opened it to the ground while he marched forward and grabbed a white haired old man by the lapel and lifting him by a few inches.

"Now Sasuke, is that any way to greet your informant?" The old man said, holding his hands out to his sides in a non-threatening manner.

"When my informant, in informing others. Then yes. Now you wouldn't be able to tell me why I found this lovely little catch on an island that only I, my brother and you know how to navigate?"

The old man appeared completely perplexed, looking over Sasuke shoulder to scrutinize Naruto closely. His eyes widened in slight shock and horror, before his mouth shut in a grim line. "I haven't a word to 

say on the subject, except that I informed no one of the location, and that I did not put the boy there myself."

Sasuke stared into the man's eyes for several minutes before releasing his grip and nodding solemnly. "Ghost do you know this man?"

"Uhhh, nope. Haven't seen him before in my life." Naruto replied.

The man let out a small huff indignantly, and turned his head away, clearly upset.

"Well what other news do you have old man?" Sasuke asked.

"It's not old man, as you well know brat. And unless you treat me with some respect I might just decide to withhold anything I may or may not know." The man said, refusing to turn around, with his arms crossed.

"Fine. Jiraya. Do you have any news?"

"No."

Naruto had to physically restrain the raven from knocking the old man's head right off his body, while Jiraya quickly amended his statement. "I meant I didn't have any news about 'that' subject. He's still at large and no one has seen him for months. However I have heard that Gaara's ship recently obtained quite a booty, Spanish as well. They are going to be just 8 miles west of here in two days or so. So you might be able to get your hands on some cash to keep the crew going."

"There. That wasn't s hard now was it? Come on Ghost we're leaving now."

"Wait one moment! You'd better be on the lookout. I heard Kyuubi is haunting the waters nearby. You wouldn't want to incur his wrath." Jiraya said to the turned back.

Sasuke looked back and nodded gravely. "Thanks for the information." The raven quickly turned and walked briskly out of the room, Naruto tripping to keep up with him.

"Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke! Wait!"He yelled, puffing when he finally caught up with the man.

"What?" He snapped harshly, sitting by the small drop awaiting the arrival of his crew.

"What was that about? Who's still at large?"

"It's none of your business. Now shut it Ghost or I'll make good by your name."

"B-but who's this Gaara fellow?"

Sasuke sighed, running his hand through his immaculate hair. "A fellow pirate and enemy. I heard he's cut throat and vicious in battle, but that his treasure aboard is more than worth the risk."

"And Kyuubi?"

"Someone I hope to God we never meet."

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Conscience: You know... I didn't think it was possible... but I think your pirate lingo has gotten worse.

Me: Aye my matey. Indeed it has. It's a bloody curse I'll tell ye, a bloody curse.


	4. Of KIBBBAAAAAA

The water lapped up against the sides of the small boat they currently sat in as Naruto looked off into the distance and sighed. Their day after the whole whore house debacle had been pretty uneventful minus the ache and fear Naruto harboured that he might get a permanent cramp in his hand after writing so much. He sat in the back of the small row boat, Sasuke beside him while all their supplies stayed packed up tightly, effectively taking up the rest of the room before coming to Kiba who stood at the tip of the boat and keeping a watchful eye.

"Something the matter, Ghost?" The voice came softly in his ear and only startled him slightly. Turning with a weary smile Naruto shook his head. "If something is wrong with ye, I can always help ye forget about it." The Captain smirked as Naruto's eyes bulged. Sasuke grabbed the back of Naruto's head, gently, and forced him to turn and face him as he leaned forward.

"Aye Cap'n! The ship be n'sight now, Cap'n." Kiba's voice broke through causing Sasuke to violently spasm back into his spot, releasing Naruto so quickly the blonde almost splashed back into the water. Kiba looked back just then with a raised brow as the white bird on his shoulder announced with a screech, "Prepare to be boarded! Brwaack."

With a soft pink burning across his cheeks Naruto snickered softly to himself at yet another failed attempt by the Captain to seduce him. He silently thanked Kiba for being a thoughtless, good hearted man who always seemed to be in the right place at the right time.

It wasn't the first time that the blonde had been miraculously saved due to the precise timing of the first mate. The teen had been molested on numerous occasions, but good old Kiba had walked in at just the right moment to save him from his doom. Like the one time on deck at night...

Naruto had gone looking for the captain on Kiba's orders with a message that the man was going to take over the helm in a half-an-hour or so. Sighing the blonde made his way to the top deck and towards the wheel. He could see the silhouette of Sasuke guiding the ship with a steady hand, despite the dark. The moon provided just enough light to carefully work his way up the stairs towards the captain.

Naruto could feel the piercing gaze of the raven. Even through the dark he knew the man was looking at him, his eyes grazing over the teen's body. It was as if he was caressing the teen, sliding his hand softly over the thin worn material of Naruto's white t-shirt, the heat of his palm pressing against the blonde's abdomen. A wave of heat shook the teen to his senses, giving him shivers up and down his spine.

"What are ye doing up so late Ghost?" Sasuke said as the teen drew closer.

"I couldn't sleep. I had too much on my mind."

"What could plague a beauty like you out of rest?" Sasuke said with a curious half grin.

Naruto's face flushed. "You'd be surprised."

"I don't doubt I would." Sasuke said, caressing the wheel with his fingers gently.

It was only then that Naruto realized how close he was to the raven. The man was nearly on top of him. The teen could even feel the heat of his breath hot against his neck. Naruto's gaze followed the deliberate move of the raven's fingers over the smooth wood of the wheel. He stroked the wooden nubs up and down, while coolly observing him. His eyes brushed over the teen openly, deliberately pausing over certain areas, and making Naruto keenly aware of just how little he was wearing. His eyes raised the teen to hyper sensitivity, as if he could feel those fingers lightly touching his side, moving over his taunt abdomen, and brushing against his crotch. Naruto found himself drawn towards the raven, hypnotized by his gaze, and slowly leaning into the body before him.

When Sasuke finally reached out to touch Naruto he was helpless to resist. Drawn like a moth to the flame, unable to mutter a single word as callous hands moved to take a hold of his wrist, drawing him closer to the captain's body. His breath was heady, and the thick musty smell of whiskey and spices clung to the man's shirt, a powerful and intoxicating aroma that made Naruto feel weak in the knees.

Naruto began to lightly shake as Sasuke pressed his lips against the teens, his hand steadily guiding the blonde deeper into the kiss. The raven moved against Naruto's plush lips, his tongue gliding along the teen's bottom lip gently asking for entrance. Naruto knew that he could easily reject the captain and be met without objection, except perhaps a disappointed moan, but he didn't see the need. He was more than content to be held and kissed by the man. Although something inside him denied what was happening, something else was urging him on. Heeding the voice in his mind he opened his mouth, and tentatively brushed his tongue against Sasuke's, teasing him and leading him deeper into Naruto's own mouth.

Sasuke's hands worked their way up and down Naruto's sides as he pressed the teen into the wheel behind him. Sasuke was wearing as little as Naruto, a white silk shirt, and long cotton pants, his jacket discarded to a nearby box, they might as well have been naked for barrier that the flimsy clothing provided.

Naruto could feel Sasuke's manhood growing against his stomach, pressing firmly against him as his own desire grew, spreading through his body like a wildfire. Their kisses grew heated as their mouths crashed together again and again. It was almost violent the way their bodies moved together. Sasuke turned Naruto around and pressed him up against the wheel, his arms gliding along his to rest on his hands, helping him to guide the ship and giving him something to hold on to. He started to kiss along the back of Naruto's neck, dipping down to nip at the curve, his hands, move to slide down Naruto's sides, coming back up to caress his chest, lightly flicking his nipples, and allowing a hot breathe to caress the teen's neck. He pressed his arousal against the plush curve of Naruto's ass, alternately between pressing and grinding into the teen.

It was insanity. At any other point the teen would be berating the perverted Captain, resisting, perhaps even fighting with the bastard for even attempting such a move. But he just couldn't bring himself to care, had it been another time, perhaps another place he would have denied him, fought him. But there was no fight left in him, no need for fighting, just for feeling.

Naruto's grip on the wheel tightened when a hand slipped under his T-shirt, and another into his pants. He inhaled sharply and bit his lip when he felt a cool hand encircle his arousal.

"S-Sasuke." He said headily, his breath coming in short little gasps.

He let out a moan when the raven gave the teen a slow pump, his hand tracing a vein on the underside of the teen.

"Sssshhh. Just let go Ghost, ye be in good hands." Sasuke whispered into the teen's ear, giving the lobe a small nip.

"Mmmm."

Sasuke began to slowly work the teen, his hand travelling up and down the shaft, caressing the tip, before working his way back down. His hips pressed in the same motion as his hands, sliding against the teen, and working his body into the willing one before him. His free hand reached up to Naruto's chin, turning his head round and pressing his lips against Naruto's.

Naruto felt like melting as he felt the brush of a hot tongue entering his own mouth. He began to even question why he had denied the man for as long as he did. Sasuke's hand left his chin to travel to his hip, pulling the blonde's hips closer to his own and grounding himself firmly into the teen's lovely behind, and rolling his hips with the motion. Naruto could feel the firm shaft throbbing against him, teasingly prodding at his entrance through the material. The blonde was too far gone to care. Sasuke could have stripped him on deck there and taken him on the floor and Naruto would be happy to go along with it.

"CAPN'?" Kiba called out, opening the door that led to the deck.

Kiba immediately broke the spell Sasuke had cast over the blonde. Naruto snapped into reality and ripped Sasuke's hands out from his pants before quickly moving away. His face was flushed with embarrassment and arousal, although his erection was waning due to the scare Kiba gave him. His body shook with the adrenaline rush due to the shock and stimulation Sasuke provided. He kept his head down as he pushed past the captain and flew down the stairs to the top deck.

"I-I'm sorry. I've got to go." Naruto stammered, his face red as he rushed past Kiba, not bothering to wait as the brunette raised an eyebrow in questioning as his speed of departure, and Sasuke scowled at his first mate.

The teen flew down the stairs and below deck, rushing into to shared rooms and launching himself into his hammock. Closing his eyes he took deep calming breathes. 'Foolish. So foolish. God, how could I be so stupid! I was about to... with... with him! And he... Oh god.' Naruto let out a distressed moan, and smacked his head against his own fist.

He was determined to act as if nothing happened. He wouldn't let the Captain get to him like that again. No. He would stand firm. With that Naruto began to drift off into a fitful sleep, plagued with self doubts and regret. It took the teen a while to finally calm himself before he finally drifted off into a deep slumber.

Meanwhile on deck Sasuke was near hyper ventilation, while Kiba slowly scrolled up the stairs to the top.

"I didn't interrupt anything did I cap'n?"

"No. No. Nothing at all. Nothing at all." Sasuke said grinding his teeth.

"Well that's good. I trust Ghost told ye' I'd be up shortly to take over yer post."

"No. He didn't say." The raven replied with a twitch of his eye.

"Ahhhh. Well I be here now to take over the post Cap'n." Kiba said with a grin.

"You do that." Sasuke said quietly, seeming to float away from the wheel, and making his way gracefully down the stairs.

Once safely in his cabin the man let out a muffled scream of frustration into his pillow, before banging his head into his headboard. "KIIIIBBBAAAAA!" He growled. When the crew awoke the next morning they found the man pacing his cabin, scowling and cracking his fists, murmuring something about a 'scally-wag walking the plank for interrupting', and 'being so close.'

The blonde chuckled to himself causing the Captain to turn and eye him, Naruto smiled nervously while rubbing the back of his neck, "Just remembering some... stuff." Sasuke's eyebrow quirked but he said nothing, just turned forward to keep his keen eyes on his boat that they were fast approaching.

It wouldn't take too long to load the supplies, with all the men helping it usually only took about two minutes and Naruto sat back and watched, smiling that he didn't have to worry about helping. He was too important for grunt work... well, at least that's what Sasuke had said. He couldn't help but wonder if the man wanted to keep his hands soft.

When finally they boarded the ship Naruto hustled to his room, his footfalls silent amongst the noises of the crew men dragging things across the desk, or stomping around and shouting at each other. He really didn't want to get caught up in anymore work, nor any conversations the men might want to have with him. Making it to his room without incident he sank down on the door, palms flat against the not so smooth wood as he slid down it.

His eyes fell on his bed and a soft chuckle purred from his chest when he remembered back to a few days ago...

The blond paced his room, back and forth for what seemed like hours. His arms randomly flailing about or fisting before his belly button as he shut his eyes and tried to think hard about how in the heck he could get out of this book. For a moment he contemplated punching a wall in hopes that maybe his fist would break through and he could pull himself through to the real world but then decided better of it.

"There has to be SOME way out of here!!!" he wailed as his fingers fisted his golden locks. He paced back to the center of the room and looked up at the harsh gray tone the ceiling was colored. "Well....magic got me in here when I didn't even believe in it....maybe I can do the same to get me out?"

Taking a deep breath Naruto turned and faced out the small window cut into the side of his room. He clenched then unclenched his fists before slowly bringing his arms up. In a shift motion he waved his arms up then down and extended his fingers as if revealing something before him as he shouted, "ABRACADABRA!!!" Just as quickly as he had said it he shut his eyes and tensed his body, preparing himself to be hurled through the dimensions again.

When after a few minutes he still only smelled salty sea air and heard only the sounds of water relentlessly lapping against the boat he hunched forward in defeat as he roughly exhaled his held breath.

"Alright...so not that one." He leaned back as he ran his hand through his hair. He never really paid attention to the words magicians used when they did their acts...but at that moment he really wished he had as he racked his brain for all the magical words he knew. He snapped his fingers as another a few more came to mind and he readied himself by bouncing his shoulders to relax and jumped up and down in the same spot before stiffening up again and glaring out the window.

"_Alakazam_!!" he thrust his right arm forward like tossing some dice and shut his eyes again to prepare for lift off.

Again nothing.

"Fucking damn it!" he groaned.

Making fists and leaning forward he snarled, "Hocus pocus...open up my world...otis!?" he figured a rhyme would work better.

Still nothing.

"OPEN SESAME!!!" He shouted while running at the window and jumping up, thinking maybe he had to do a little more work to get out.

After running into the window, and not being sucked out of it by tentacles of light he brushed himself off and started going through the list again.

"Sim Sim Sala Bim!!" he called while swaying his hips and pointing out the window with the spiderman web-slinging hand movement thinking maybe something would shot out of his palm and would rocket into his world and he could climb/swing out.

Of course nothing, when did Sim Sim Sala Bim work for anyone?

He was starting to get a little bit pissed at this point. Angrily he fisted his hair and bashed his face into an invisible wall. "One of them has to work! If magic is real then some of these words have to have come from SOMEWHERE! Damn you old man! Damn you!"

Naruto grimaced at the memory; he had gone crazy attempting to figure out how to get out. He went through hundreds of "magical" terms, for nothing to work. Sighing the teen sat down on the edge of the bed clawing down his face when a light went off in his mind. He cried out gleefully as he took stance in the middle of the room once more but this time he faced the door, figuring that it would work as a doorway to his world when this 'spell' worked.

"SHA ZAM!!!" He thrust his hips with enthusiasm as his arms flew out to his sides and spirit fingers danced with meaning.

His heart jumped in his throat when the door burst open, he almost began cheering until his eyes took in the sight before them. Captain Sasuke stood with a hand on his hip and a smirk on his lips as his eyebrow arched. "This ow' men greet each other where you come from, Ghost?" The blond sagged forward, tears pooling behind his eyes but before he could say anything Sasuke continued, "If so I'd be lying to ye' if I said I didn't like it."

Glaring at the approaching Captain, Naruto crossed his arms over his chest as he straightened his back, "No, its not, but at least now I know what that word means and I'll remember to never use it again."

Sasuke took another step forward as his smirk broadened. "Well, Ghost. I think I'd be liking it if that were the way you always greeted me when I enter a room. It would be even better, naked." He winked as he finished the short distance between the two.

"Ghost, I've been thinking..." he paused as he let fingers slid down the blonde's cheek.

"Well good for you! I had almost lost hope for a moment there." Naruto smacked the hand away from his cheek and glared up at the mischievously smirking captain.

Sasuke scowled, his face contorting in a menacing manner. "Let me finish boy."

With an almost violent shove Sasuke had the blond's back pinned to the wall behind him while one hand grabbed Naruto's wrists and held them together over his head as he leaned forward, just barely a centimetre between them. His free hand slithered up between them and cupped the blond's cheek. "I've been thinking, it's been right good of me to letting ye stay aboard the ship, nearly free. Warm meals each day, a room to yerself, the pleasure of me company, and all you have to do is pen a few things here and there. I be thinking that it's time for ye to giving a little more."

He closed the distance between them and stole the teen's lips with his own as his occupied hand squeezed the wrists a little tighter. Naruto slightly shocked opened his mouth to berate the man, before feeling the slippery intruder violently enter. Acting purely out of reaction he bite down. Hard.

Sasuke reeled back, his hand flying to his mouth as he released the teen. His eyes were nearly glowing red with anger. "What in Davey Jone's locker was that for?!" He growled.

Naruto backed up, his hands held in front of him to ward off a further attack, or attempt on his innocence. "I-I'm sorry, but you forced yourself on me. You had better not been thinking about having me pay in, in... in THAT way."

A sharp glint sparkled in the corner of the raven's eye. "Why, are ye adverse to my attentions? You didn't seem to be the night before."

"That was a mistake. There were extenuating circumstances."

"Ex-extenuating? What does that mean? Sasuke asked, cocking his head to the side.

Naruto paused for a moment, before realizing that some of the terms that he knew were no doubt not invented at the time that the book had been written in... or perhaps the 'characters' only knew the words that were scribed onto the very pages they inhabited. It was something interesting to ponder either way.

"It just means that other things were going on that justified my actions. Okay?"

"Like what?"

Naruto flushed, "Well... it was hot out for one, and the heat does strange things to people."

"Ay. Well I found the temperature to be just right myself." He said stepping closer.

"I-I didn't get enough sleep the night before."

"Dreaming of me were ye'?" His hand moved to cup the teen's.

"N-No! It's not like that." Naruto said scrambling back. "I don't like you! At least not like that."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed dangerously, while a glint of red surfaced in his eyes. "I don't care if ye like me Ghost. I want you, and the Captain get's what he wants."

With that the raven gripped the back of the blonde's hair harshly violently pressing his lips against the teens. Their lips crashed together, with Sasuke's tongue squirming its way into Naruto's mouth. The teen felt the heat rising to his cheeks, and a tingle travelling down his spine, to settle in his abdomen. Despite all his protests, he really wasn't all that adverse to Sasuke's advances, he just didn't want to be the whore that the school considered him to be. He wasn't going to give himself up to a man that treated him like a worthless piece of meat, he was better than that.

A salt calloused hand slid up the smooth skin of his stomach, deepening that tingle in his abdomen, his fingers rough against his skin, the texture giving him chills, as it travelled up to his pert nipples, twisting and rolling the buds between his fingers as he drank in Naruto's mouth. His knee travelled between the teen's thighs to roll against his crotch and growing bulge.

Naruto let out a moan and a whimper into Sasuke's mouth, his hips pressing forward against the raven's knee, while his back arched. Sasuke's eye gained an eerie glint, his hands removing themselves out fro under the teen's shirt, only to grab a handful of his firm behind, lifting him into his arms before throwing him down onto his desk, before gracefully settling his form onto the one beneath him.

Naruto was puddy in the Captain's hand's, his body shaking with anticipation, and his eyes glazed over in lust, as Sasuke's mouth devoured his neck, and his hands make quick work of his shirt, and belt. Just as Sasuke was about to reach his prize, his hands hovering over the blonde's crotch he heard a creak behind him, followed by a loud thump, before the door burst open to reveal Kiba.

"Hey Cap'n. Ye seen Ghost, Shika' be want'n im'."

The blushing blonde emerged from beneath Sasuke, pulling his shirt back on and grabbing his belt before scuttling out the door. Kiba could feel death at the back of his neck, after seeing what he had interrupted, he knew that Sasuke was, eventually, going to kill him in a painful way. Without a further look back he ran.

The brunette was intercepted by Shikamaru as he attempted to get as far away from the cabin as possible. Shikamaru took one look at Kiba before stopping him.

"What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Kiba nodded his head, "I've seen more of Ghost than' I ever want'd." He replied with his face pale.

Kiba scuttled off leaving a confused Shikamaru standing there alone, before a loud boom echoed from Sasuke's cabin, the bellow of "KIBBBBAAAAA" leaving fear in the hearts of all. It was at that moment Shikarmaru figured out what must have happened. No ever said he wasn't intelligent.


End file.
